"Keep your seat".
That's what Dad would say when he walked in and saw me sitting in HIS recliner, when I went home to visit Mom and Dad.
Dad died on January 11, 2005.
And with his passing went not only a father but the last of a dying breed. The geezers you see in corner coffee shops sipping coffee with his buddies and starting stuff. No profanity and foul mouthing like nowadays.
Dad was a minister for the penitentiary system in my hometown. I remember his "preacher's strut". He would walk with his head pushed forward and reach his legs out deliberately in front of him with his assorted books or briefcase in his hand. I once picked on him about that because I could see him doing that while walking down the hallway inside the women's prison unit, I could see him from a hundred yards away in the duplex we lived in across the way. He denied he walked that way but Mom backed me up right in front of him.
Dad's big deal was Christian character in the community. He lived it and taught it. If you even said "benign" cuss words like the "d" word or the "h" word in front of him he would rip a hole in you. Nowadays you have preachers saying those words from the pulpit.
Dad never had a lot to say to me except "I want to watch the ballgame" to wit he would reach over and turn the tv channel over on me. He had to watch every ballgame on tv, even if it was some far gone college like Iola State. What did Iola State have to do with him? Nothing, but it was a football game.
Dad was the Sphinx Behind the Newspaper. I sometimes wonder why he wouldn't communicate with us kids.
I connect Dad with cars in my head. He had a penchant for big Ford cars in the seventies. Those cars happen to be "cold natured" cars. I remember him cranking them up early in the morning on cold winter days so he could take us to school. It would take a seeming eternity for them to warm up.
Dad had an odd taste in cars. He once bought a Plymouth Satellite which I think he made for himself. He would later let me drive it when I was learning how. I liked that car of all he had.
He knew nothing of cars and didn't want to learn. He stressed over cars not starting or messing up on him.
In his leisure time he would have with his crowd at the coffee shop on the downtown square.
He would smell lof Aqua Velva and walk around in white shirt and slacks with a golf jacket and the hat that fellers wore in those days. A wise cracker he would nail someone if he got the chance in a good natured way.
He took us to a variety of movies growing up. I remember Bonnie and Clyde, Ben Hur, and he took me to The Poseidon Adventure. I let him know that I liked that one.
Dad never missed a football game that I marched in when I was a marching band geek. And he and mom attended some of the marching contests. I remember him telling Mom that his dad never came to anything he did.
In his retirement years he spent time with Mom and his grandkids while living in apartment complexes. Another of his peeves was taking care of a house, which he never wanted to do, and didn't have to do while working for the prison. I miss the gatherings at their place with his grandkids and everyone else.
He was the man about town, at the courthouse, the coffee shop, the credit union, the post office.
He would mail me the town newspaper, and as I went through the papers I would see where he had circled a person's picture with a pen and off to the side wrote "nut" or "idiot". There was no grey areas with Dad.
The interplay between him and Mom was interesting. He was on a strict diet because of cholestorol and was always trying to pull something over on Mom when she wasn't looking. She would slap his wrist and say "you can't have that". He would say "aw".
I still regret not talking to him much. I just didnt' know how. Sometimes I was abrupt. Looking back I think he may have been a bit afraid if I would pop off. I think he was more shy than I thought at the time.
Since his passing, others in the community that he associated with have passed also. Now the town is just a remnant of what was, with him and his friends no longer a part of the downtown square community.
He was a man of Christian character. I fail to be what he was to this day.
He and Mom are together now. I wonder if he knows about my new car? Cars were on him mind with reference to me. He always asked if my truck was running good.
He is drinking coffee, Chock Full O Nuts? (The Heavenly Coffee) and maybe annoying Mom with hsi wisecracks.
We'll all be together someday.
Miss you Dad.
